The Middle Child

Birth Order
A Look at the Middle Child in the Family

 

            Sibling relationships are very important, not just because brothers and sisters spend time together but because of the huge impact those relationships have on personality development. Roughly 33% of a person’s free time is spent with a sibling; more time than with anyone else. Sibling relationships contribute to personality traits, help build self-esteem, and even encourage ambition (DeBroff).

            Middle children tend to feel like the “odd man out,” particularly if there are three children in the family with an oldest, middle, and youngest. Not getting enough attention is classic in this scenario. Dr. Alfred Adler was the first one to bring birth order and its effects on personality to light. He himself is a middle child. According to Dr. Adler, middle children are more prone to depression and typically have stronger immune systems. Middle children realize they need to be vocal in order to be heard, otherwise, they are easily overlooked. They also learn the art of flexibility being in the middle.

          
           There are stereotypes about the middle child just as there are about other birth orders. Some of those stereotypes include middle children being resentful, depressed, and not belonging. These traits are called the middle child syndrome. A Stanford University study showed that middles are considered the most envious, least bold, and least talkative of all the birth orders (Griffin).

            Actually, middles are very social and benefit from being team players. They are also cooperative as a result of all the negotiating they do being in the middle. Trust is also a characteristic found in middles. Middles demonstrate strong leadership abilities, a trait often seen in firstborns, and enjoy success as a result of their driven nature. Civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. was a middle child. 

            Although middles are often neglected by parents, this helps them to be independent.  They are great outside the box thinkers. Because they are so independent, they are less likely to conform. They beat to their own drum.  Middles have great empathy which causes them to be great team players and partners in relationships. 

               Middles are quite driven and make great employees. “Middles are more oriented to principles and concepts, like justice, over earning power or prestige—for example, suffragette Susan B. Anthony and the Polish freedom fighter Lech Walesa. Middles are often motivated by social causes. And when they do enter into a more traditional business, they are great innovators and team leaders, such as Bill Gates” (Griffin).

            Other characteristics of a middle child due to their position within the family are skillful negotiator, as well as savvy and skillful manipulator, a trait they also share with the youngest in the family. Middles have good judgment and know how to compromise; as a result, they are successful at arguing and would make great mediators. Middles are willing to try new things, effect change, and are natural trailblazers. Middles are likely to have an open mind and be willing to try new things. “Middles are justice-seekers, like Nelson Mandela and Susan B. Anthony. They are focused on fairness; they perceive injustice in their family and are attuned to the needs of others as they grow up. Middles side with the underdog and practice what they preach” (Griffin).

            How one grows up affects adult life. Family position is important and relates to the type of jobs one is drawn to and how one interacts with people in the workplace. Middles would make good teachers, actors, social workers and diplomats because of their great empathy, need for fairness, ability to effect change, and their negotiating skills.

Post by JT -- Comments Welcomed. 
Qualifier: (Birth Order characteristics are common traits but do not always apply to every child) 

Works Cited

DeBroff, Stacy. “What are the effects of “middle child syndrome?’ Today Parenting. 
           14 Aug. 2006. Web. 10 Nov. 2014.

Griffin, Lynne, R.N., M.Ed. “Field Guide to Families: The Secret Powers of Middle
          Children." Psychology Today. 18 Oct. 2012. Web. 10 Nov. 2014.

Montgomery, Heather. “The Middle Child Syndrome.” Everyday Family. n.d. Web.
          10 Nov. 2014.