Effects of Death on Children

Effects of Death of Parent(s) on Children

Death of a parent is devastating and the deep feelings of loss can be extremely difficult to manage. Rather the parent was ill for a period of time or the loss is a sudden or tragic death, deep mourning is sure to ensue. Children have different coping and reactions to death. Age at the time of the parent’s death is a factor. Older children or adolescents can sometimes take on the responsibility of that deceased parent and have feelings of stepping into their role, whereas young children can be confused about where the deceased parent has gone and may think they will come back. In any event, counseling for kids, strong relationship with the living parent, and support from extended family and friends can help children get through a difficult time. Loss is profound regardless of the circumstances.

What children need is continuity, care, and connection after the death of a parent.  Let a child know that they will be taken care of if they are sick, let them know they did not cause the death of their parent, be aware children may need counseling with a professional. Grief is a difficult and lonely time and children need lots of reassurance, hugs, and love during the grieving process. Spend time talking about the loved one with the child so that they can remember and not forget the deceased parent. Communication with children is important after the death of a parent. Make special time to communicate on a regular basis to help kids cope.

Just like adults, children experience their own stages of death which can include:

-- Shock and denial: The disbelief that a parent has died.
-- Anger and resentment: I hate my parent for dying. I am so mad at them. I will never forgive them.
-- Guilt and recrimination: Blaming self and showing signs of aggression and hostility.
-- Sadness and Depression: Not wanting to do anything. Feeling empty. Expressing sadness. Trouble eating and sleeping are all part of the death/mourning cycle.

There are good things that can result:

•  Children can become driven to succeed

•  Children can become responsible and accountable

•  Children can develop empathy for others

•  Children can live life with passion

•  Children can live with great purpose

•  Children can learn to look to a higher power

•  Children become resilient

Consequently, there are bad things that can result:

•  Children can avoid intimate relationships

•  Children can lose their childhood

•  Children can become rebellious

•  Children can turn to drugs, alcohol, become sexually active at early age

 Children can become withdrawn because of their grief.

 Post by JT  --  Comments Welcomed.